What to Expect When Dating a Christian Man

I get it. There’s a guy who has caught your eye and stole your heart. He’s showing potential as a permanent partner, and he’s serious about Christianity. Welcome to the world of Christian dating, and don’t worry, you’re in good hands here.

Maybe you ran into him at church. Maybe it was a low key thing at school. However you met, you’ve advanced beyond the horizons of friendship and into the realm of romance. Now you want to know how to date a Christian man who takes his faith seriously.

If you’re a Christian, the following sections of information are for you. However, if you’re not a Christian, you might learn some concepts and lingo that your man will already be familiar with. So stick around if you want to impress him with some knowledge but feel free to skip to the final section for tips specific to your situation. 

Christian man on a mountain top

Dating a Christian Man When You’re Already a Christian

Okay, this is for all the Christian ladies out there. There’s only one Man who won’t disappoint you, and His name is Jesus. Every other man will eventually let you down in some way, because no matter how good he makes you feel, he’s not perfect. However, he might be perfect for you. 

Most Christian men tend towards the reserved, old-fashioned style of dating. He may feel the need to pay for outings together and assume traditional dating roles as the norm for the relationship. He will definitely want you to visit his church or vice versa, and there will be plenty of moments that involve expressing your faith together.

Here are a couple of practical tips to prevent unnecessary heartache for everyone involved.

Choose Relationship With God Over Relationship With Him

If you don’t feel called by God to be single, then whatever happens, always keep in mind that God is preparing you for someone special. This relationship might turn out to be that special someone from God, but just in case it’s not, let’s remember how it’s wise to guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23). 

It’s important to choose God over him as your first priority. This ensures that you remain rooted in a relationship with Someone who truly loves you instead of someone who might come to love you. To seal the deal on something I’m sure you probably already know, Jesus reminds us not to leave Him as our first love (Revelation 2:4).

Listen to Your Parents and Thank Them for Their Advice 

You might be old enough to know this by now, but sometimes it isn’t always that easy to recognize. Believe it or not, in most circumstances, your parents genuinely care about you and want the best for you. That includes the best romantic relationship also. 

Listening and thanking them doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with them, but it does mean that you care enough about them to respect their words of wisdom. Most importantly, this also demonstrates a willingness to obey one of the ten commandments to honor your father and mother (Exodus 20:12). 

Dating a Christian Man from a Different Denomination 

This can be a big deal or small potatoes. It really depends on the denominational differences being considered. Don’t worry, in almost every case, this isn’t a deal breaker. It might make for some uncomfortable moments, but as Jesus demonstrated for us, real love isn’t always comfortable.

There is only one red flag here: heretical denominations. Don’t freak out, there aren’t that many and it’s easy to sniff them out. The orthodox denominations within Protestant Christianity hold to the original teaching of the Nicean Creed (Trinitarianism) and that salvation from sin’s grip is by grace through faith in Christ’s atoning death and resurrection on our behalf (not our own works).

These are landmark beliefs within Protestant Christianity. If your boyfriend can’t affirm them as true, you should postpone your relationship with them until he resolves that conflict of faith. The Unification Church, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormonism, and Unitarianism are some noteworthy heretical “denominations” to look out for.

Otherwise, the petty denominational differences between Christians aren’t romantic restrictions. This can actually be an opportunity for you to reevaluate the merits of your own beliefs. The various Protestant denominations might have alternative ways of conducting their church services and some slightly different doctrinal beliefs, but they won’t have anything in their theology that results in eternal separation from God.

Dating a Christian Man When You’re NOT a Christian

This will eventually become an issue at some point in the relationship. It’s inevitable. Whether he expresses it or not, he definitely desires for you to become a Christian. Ask him! 

If he says that he doesn’t care what you believe or who you worship, then he’s told you the truth. He doesn’t care about your spiritual destiny, and he’s not really a Christian. Full stop. 

However, if he looks into your eyes and tells you that he does care, he will have told you the truth here also. 

This is because every Christian is called to be a messenger of Christ, regardless of their vocation or location. In his mind, it’s a duty and honor to present others with the truth about what God did through Jesus (John 3:16-18). It’s called the Gospel, and it’s good news worth repeating.

When it comes to dating, there won’t be much if any change in his behavior from what was previously mentioned in this post. You can still presume the same reserved behavior and traditional intentions. Here are a couple of practical tips for growing your relationship with a Christian man. 

  • Talk to him about his faith. Knowledge is power. If you’re looking for a powerful tool to his heart, or if you’re genuinely interested in him as a person, ask him about the core beliefs of Christianity. Show him that you’re interested in learning more about his passion for God. 
  • Go to church with him. Actions speak louder than words, and if you’re talking to him about his faith, it’s likely that he will invite you to church with him. Go, girl, go! It demonstrates a willingness to try something outside your comfort zone and also shows your interest wasn’t full of empty words.

May God bless you and give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).

Written By: Nicholas Lakin

Nick is an academic scholar, budding theologian, and thoughtful teacher of the Bible. He has a passion to see others grow in their knowledge of God for the purpose of glorifying Christ. He’s also a graduate of Liberty University and a former United States Army soldier.

His academic works range from commentaries and exegetical analyses to nuanced details regarding the Hebrew and Greek languages of the Bible. His future endeavors include Chaplaincy and founding a nonprofit organization that’s conducive to ecumenical orthodoxy across Protestantism.