My Partner is More Religious Than Me – What Do I Do?

Everyone knows someone more religious than themselves. Even the most religious person you know will likely have someone else they also look up to. But it doesn’t just stop there. That person will have a particular hero of the faith that they admire as godly, and the cycle goes on and on all the way back to Jesus. As Christians, it’s pretty safe to say that the cycle probably ends there.

Although every Christian should practice their faith, different people experience different levels of passion for it. If you have zero passion for practicing the faith, that’s definitely a spiritual problem that needs to be addressed. But if your devotion to religious activities isn’t on the same level as your local church’s worship leader, that’s definitely not a problem and doesn’t need to be addressed. That’s just a difference in your spiritual callings and levels of passion. 

When these two types of people start a romantic relationship together, these different levels of passion start becoming apparent after a bit of time together. It can lead to self-conscious thoughts (which we addressed in the last paragraph) and a hesitant uncertainty about the best to support their partner (which we address below). This article approaches that subject from the perspective of the “less religious” partner.

Couple stand close holding rosary

Respect Their Dedication to God

This is the most important thing on the list. Whatever you do, don’t criticize or disparage their faithfulness and dedication to God. That’s literally something right out of the devil’s playbook and definitely what evil wants you to do. So, yea, please don’t!

Hopefully, you see their dedication and love for God as an endearing quality. If so, don’t give your partner problems about how much time they allocate to practicing their devotion or spending in prayer. This is the most essential aspect of their life, and although it might not be expressed to the same degree, it should be the most important aspect of your life also!

Give Them Space to Practice

We all need to spend time alone with God. Some of our most spiritual moments are often experienced one-on-one with God. Your partner will definitely invite you to practice the faith with them, but sometimes they’ll need to seclude themselves from everything and everyone. This helps them have those intimate moments with God, but for that to occur, they’re going to need a bit of space. 

However, space doesn’t always mean large distances! It certainly could if they express that need, but depending on your spiritual maturity and level of comfortability with each other, the definition of spiritual “space” will be different for every couple. Space could mean giving them a predetermined level of privacy in the next room over with the door closed. Space could also mean giving them an uninterrupted period of quiet contemplation within an arm’s reach away. If you don’t already recognize their spiritual signals, talk with your partner about the degree of space they need. 

Be Willing to Leave Your Comfort Zone 

The day is coming when your spiritual limits will be tested by your partner. They’ll excitedly invite you to do something that’s outside of your comfort zone, and you’ll be forced to make a decision in the heat of the moment. It’s good to stretch your spiritual boundaries from time to time but don’t feel obligated to accept their invitation. It’s important to discuss your spiritual comfortability and religious boundaries with your partner. This helps them understand what religious practices you’re willing to do with them.

However, sometimes those boundaries can be stretched by invitations from others. For example, when you’re together at church, another couple might invite you to join their religious group or do a spiritual activity with them. These types of situations might leave your partner wanting to say “yes” but you want to say “no.” In those moments when your significant other unwittingly commits you to a “yes” answer, you can demonstrate patience and grace by being willing to leave your comfort zone.

There will also come moments where your limitations will be tested in a good way. Occasionally, you will feel the tug of the Holy Spirit to do something that’s “normal” for your partner but outside of your own comfort zone. Don’t override these unique feelings given by God because they are invitations from Him to step out in faith and grow in your spirituality.

Pray for Them and the Relationship

As Christians, prayer is one of the most powerful actions we can take. Prayer can affect our situations and the scenarios of others, and in 1Thessalonians 5:17, the Apostle Paul even tells us to pray without ceasing! You might be asking something along the lines of “is that even possible?!” It might sound impossible at first, but it’s totally doable once you understand what Paul is saying…

See, prayer isn’t only done on your knees with words in a church at a particular time on a specific day of the week. That’s only one form of praying among many forms of prayer. Prayerfulness is a mindset of constant communication. Someone constantly communicating to God through their thoughts is praying without ceasing! 

A portion of your prayerfulness to God should be about your partner and the relationship. You can pray for the supportive things we’ve already covered above or anything else God brings to mind. As you keep praying more and more, you should be on the lookout for transformations in the areas you’re praying for, and you should be open to allowing transformation in yourself too.

Simply start the process of mindful prayer about your partner and see where God takes your thoughts about them and the relationship. After all, since they’re the “more religious” person in this relationship, they’re probably already praying for you too!