Nothing says ‘I’m single and ready to mingle’ like flirting with others. Outside of a romantic relationship, it’s supposed to be a universal sign that someone is available and willing to date. Inside of a romantic relationship, it’s a playful show of love between couples.
Additionally, flirting has a bit of a wild side too. It’s hard to deny the sexual tension that’s felt between people after a perfectly performed or well-timed flirt. That’s not without explanation, because psychologically, flirting is how people remind others that they’re sexually available.
That’s probably what’s brought you here, and you have your subconscious mind to thank for it. As a Christian, it’s always wise to get a Biblical perspective on something that has a sexual element to it. This is especially true when it regards the dating scene.
Flirting inside of a marital relationship is a foregone conclusion and totally permissible. But is it okay for Christians to flirt inside a dating relationship? What about outside of a relationship as a single person? The answer is yes, but there are some really important things to consider before you act on that answer.
We think flirting can be both appropriate and inappropriate for a Christian to do. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with flirting, and we’d go a step further and say it’s a gift from God! However, this gift isn’t to be abused or manipulated and, therefore, made inappropriate.
It really depends on the situation when determining if flirting is appropriate or not. Each situation is different, but the Holy Spirit through your conscience should always be your Guide in this matter. Nevertheless, there are a few rules to be aware of when it comes to flirting.
Don’t be that creepy person trying to get with someone half your age. There are some parts of the world where that’s perfectly acceptable, but if you don’t live there, keep the age range between you somewhere within a decade. Age may just be a number to you, but good luck explaining that to the person giving you a strange look after flirting with someone much younger.
Don’t message someone over social media that you don’t already know personally. That’s how your message ends up as a screenshot and posted on the internet for others to laugh at. There needs to be a pattern of playfulness before you shoot your shot with someone. That pattern isn’t going to be there if you don’t already know them, and once you get above thirty, it just comes across as desperate.
Don’t flirt just to have fun or out of boredom. If you are flirting indiscriminately or because it accomplishes some sort of personal agenda, then you are being emotionally abusive. You should only be flirting with someone that you would like to date or are already dating.
There are appropriate ways to flirt. These convey your romantic intentions without crossing the moral lines concerning your Christian ethics. We wanted to give you some practical examples in three big categories. Hopefully, you can take these principles and apply them in your own unique way.
Dancing might be one of the greatest ways to flirt. Of course, we’re talking about the type of dancing that doesn’t resemble two spoons stuck together for the entirety of the song. It requires rhythm and skill, but it can even be quite tantalizing when someone dances solo! For those not rhythmically inclined, running fingers through your significant other’s hair or tucking their hair behind their ear can be quite endearing. Light touches to areas of the body that aren’t off-limits can still convey your desire.
Sometimes it pays to have a silver tongue. Those able to speak kind, endearing words are at an advantage and every romantic movie reinforces this truth. The spoken word will always be the primary form of communication, and flirting is not the exception to this rule. Witty comments and conversations can be a way of flirting that’s both mentally intimate and quite intoxicating.
Writers will understand the value of a flirtatious text. Crafting something beautiful with words is its own reward, but even more so when you know it will be read by someone that you’re interested in. Texts and notes give you the opportunity to use puns and poetry. Creativity goes a long way, especially when it’s related to flirting on the phone.
There are inappropriate ways to flirt too. This section goes beyond the previous section about the fundamentals of flirting. Here, we’ve provided you with examples of inappropriate flirting in the same three categories mentioned above. Ultimately, if you or your partner are doing any of these, one or both of you are flirting with disaster.
It almost goes without saying that there are inappropriate ways to touch someone when flirting. As a Christian, you shouldn’t be pinching any part of your partner’s private areas (think goosing and the like). Hands that linger and trail down body lines cause sexual desire to be aroused. Show restraint and respect for your partner and God by keeping your touches innocent of accusations.
Suggesting something with your words that goes beyond your level of commitment is an inappropriate form of flirting. Saying something like “I can’t wait to marry you” or “I’m never going to leave you” is too much before becoming engaged, and it could be emotionally scarring if there’s a change of heart from either person. As a Christian, you shouldn’t promise something that you aren’t prepared to deliver with the highest level of certainty.
Sending messages that are overtly sexual in nature is an inappropriate form of flirting. Sexual innuendos might get a rise out of you or them, but it’s crossing the line of acceptable behavior as someone who’s single or currently in a Christian dating relationship. Additionally, sexting is also inappropriate. We exhort you to honor God by keeping the texts clean and the conversations pure.