Couples should always be attempting to grow closer with one another over time. This inherent truth about relationships leads couples to search for more ways to become knit together with each another emotionally. One of the many ways to achieve this type of deeper intimacy is by reading the same book together.
Reading books together is an excellent way to grow closer emotionally and intellectually. It allows for meaningful conversation about the material presented in the pages, and through those discussions, it serves to unravel the deeper layers of each person. The unity that results from accomplishing a project together is worth the price of even the most expensive books.
You don’t need to read shoulder-to-shoulder. You can read apart from each other and at separate times, but it’s important to come together for a discussion about what you’ve read. Ideally, the time for conversations should come after each chapter.
With this in mind, we want to suggest a few great books for Christian couples to read together. The following books will help grow your love for one another, prepare for a lasting future together, and stay unified around the mission and person of Christ.
The Five Love Languages
The Five Love Languages was written by Dr. Gary Chapman and is helpful for discovering the best ways to demonstrate love to your spouse or significant other. The premise of the book revolves around learning the “love languages” of your partner and yourself. Uncovering how a couple’s love languages can be cultivated and interact with each other has made it one of the most popular books for developing healthy relationships and marriages.
A love language is a particular way that a person feels loved by their partner. Learning the love languages helps partners demonstrate love to one another in the ways that each person will be most receptive to feeling loved. We’ve written articles about each of the love languages before, but we suggest reading the book together for its comprehensive coverage.
This book finds its place at the top of our list for good reason. Although written by a publicly Christian author, it has become so popular that it has outgrown its Christian ecosphere. The majority of secular culture also recognizes the book to have practical value for building love between all types of couples.
The Five Love Languages has become a conversation starter for dating sites. Dating apps use this book as a prompt for potential dates to understand the other person before having even met them. It’s like being armed with classified information from the start!
You can find this book for purchase here.
Family to Family
Family to Family was written by Dr. Jerry Pipes and Victor Lee, and the authors are on a mission to help with family discipleship. This is a great read for couples with existing children or couples who plan on having children in the not-so-distant future. The authors want to equip their readers with ways to disciple their children within the context of a Christian family.
The book will help couples decide which methods for raising children is most compatible with their parenting desires. It prompts parents and future parents to reflect on their own upbringing with regard to raising their children. Undoubtedly, there are things enjoyed that you wish to pass forward but unenjoyed things also that you don’t want to be forwarded. This book guides you and your spouse or partner into a space to talk about those things together.
In addition to that desire for creating healthy families, the author’s main focus is equipping parents to pass the baton of Christianity forward to the next generation. Hopefully, by following the suggestions of the book, the reader’s children will grow up valuing their strong Christian upbringing and do the same for their own offspring. In this way, from family to family and generation to generation, faith in Christ will be passed down as a heritage through family discipleship.
You can find this book for purchase here.
Why Don’t We Listen Better?
Why Don’t We Listen Better?: Communicating & Connecting in Relationships was written by Jim Petersen, and he brings over 40 years as a pastoral counselor into writing this book. It’s one of the best reads for better communication between couples.
The book itself is a wealth of knowledge that has been distilled from prior circumstances. Petersen relays a plethora of relatable past experiences from other couples that are based on true stories. More than one of these different scenarios is bound to be relevant to your own relationship.
The entirety of the book is focused on the power of active listening and its benefits. Petersen notes that the default tendency of humans is to prepare a response while the other person is talking to them. That’s why he created over 39 techniques for listening better instead of waiting to respond. These techniques are excellent for having your partner feel heard and making headway towards resolving all types of problems related to trust, commitment, anger, conflict, grief, anxiety, heartbreak, and a host of other emotions.
The versatility of this book is what makes it so great because it’s for more than just romantic relationships. It’s an all-purpose tool for creating better listeners in every relationship and all circumstances. Whether it’s your friends, coworkers, in-laws, or children, the techniques provided by the author are useful for your interactions with all of them.
Why Don’t We Listen Better is a playbook for great relationships, romantic and otherwise. If you absorb the contents of the book, the methods and strategies found within it will benefit you for the rest of your life. However, it will benefit who you’re talking to more because they will be heard and understood!
You can find this book for purchase here.