Goals are essential to the success of any venture, and relationships are no different. To succeed in a new romantic relationship, you must set goals that both guard and grow the love within it. Choosing to maximize your wealth in love will pay dividends for both of you in the long run.
Here is where goals shine with opportunity. Love is an intangible catalyst that produces tangible results, both good and bad. Goals serve to mark out some of those good, tangible results that you hope this romance will produce.
Below are a few romantic relationship goals for new Christian couples. These goals are best accomplished within the first month of the relationship. They will help structure the romance while keeping it anchored in the solid foundation of Jesus and guided by Biblical principles.
This is a week-one goal. Once you’ve become an official couple, the first goal for every new Christian relationship should be establishing boundaries. This includes more than just making and enforcing sexual limits, although that’s definitely part of it all. Boundaries are helpful for establishing mutual respect across multiple categories of the relationship.
How often should we try to see each other? At what time does it become too late/early to give the other a phone call? How much space and alone time does each person need? How long until we introduce each other to our families? Are we both comfortable with public displays of affection?
These are just a few rhetorical questions to consider that will help establish some sort of boundary with your partner on different topics. Respecting them will help establish those hard lines on issues and commitments that you each value and won’t budge. These boundaries might grow and shrink over the course of time, but it’s important that each partner abides by them until you both decide to remove one of them.
Each relationship is different and should be treated as such, but every new Christian couple will need to set boundaries.
Find a Mutual Rhythm
This is a week-two or week-three goal. Finding a rhythm for your relationship is a mutual endeavor. You’ll need to start thinking about each other’s schedules and some complementary activities that you both enjoy doing together. Incorporating them into your lifestyles becomes part of the rhythm of the relationship and sets a pace for you both.
This idea builds off the established boundaries that were previously discussed. If Tuesday is a mutually agreed upon day of no contact, then that gets incorporated as part of the rhythm. If you both like to watch movies, then once per month (or more) movie dates might be a good thing to make part of the relationship’s rhythm. Each couple is different, and every rhythm will be as dynamic and unique as their romance.
The rhythm of the relationship has an equal balance of mystery and repetition. Similar to dancing, there’s a beat guiding the movements but the movements themselves aren’t always planned. There should be enough room in the rhythm for both surprise and certainty.
The rhythm shouldn’t be so structured that every single thing is planned right down to the minute of every single day. Don’t go overboard with it by over-engineering it and leave room for letting it grow organically. All you need to do is incorporate a few landmark events that the relationship can revolve around and some key rules that help govern the relationship. These are the foundations of relational rhythm for couples.
Visit Churches Together
This is a week-four goal. This is one landmark that’s needed for the rhythm of your romantic relationship. You should both eventually and permanently go to the same church together, but settling on a church to attend regularly takes time. Right now, you just want to start visiting one another’s church together.
Visiting each other’s church solves a couple of problems (no pun intended).
Firstly, it makes sure the gossip wheel never gets rolling. People won’t wonder why you/they aren’t at church anymore or why your/their attendance is spotty. Being seen together in the church gives everyone the right impression and a reasonable excuse for absence. They’ll understand that you’re likely visiting your partner’s church today or vice versa.
Secondly, it allows you to plan for the future together. If you can’t both decide which one of your churches to settle on attending full-time, this gives you all an opportunity to visit new churches altogether. The right church home is an important thing to contemplate, so give it the consideration it deserves.
Eventually, you’ll move on from visiting churches. The question won’t be, “Where should we go to church this Sunday?” The question will be more along the lines of, “Where should we sit this Sunday?” Hopefully, months down the road, you’ll find a permanent church home together for your love to blossom within.
Keep Setting Goals
This is an end-of-the-month goal. This is a goal to set goals. We’re not trying to give you a tongue-twister; this goal is a placeholder for the next set of goals that you all craft for accomplishment together.
The pace of your relationship’s growth will impact this future planning process. This doesn’t mean rush your romance to keep feeling a sense of advancement. Don’t do that; let love grow at its own pace. This is a goal to keep planning for the future of the relationship at an appropriate speed for both of you.
Goals keep you both future-oriented and project-minded. They mark minor checkpoints in your relationship that pile up over time to eventually form major milestones. These monuments of accomplishment are the road map of your love story. They will become fond memories to talk about later in life, especially if you choose to write them down. Maybe that can be your next goal.