How Long Should Christian Couples Stay Engaged?

We recognize and hope that a deep sense of longing is created between engaged couples for their wedding day to arrive. For some couples, a multitude of stars needs to align for the wedding to finally happen. For other couples, they’re happy with a simple courthouse visit to seal the deal. Each situation is as different as the couples within them.

That’s why we want to give you some practical advice for how long your engagement should be. We’ll consider the length of the relationship itself, your personal preferences as a couple, and some scheduling decisions about the big day. All of these factors combine to give you an idea about how long it might be from the proposal to the wedding.


Length of the Relationship

Will you marry me? That’s the question most Christian women hope to hear and most Christian men should eventually ask. It’s okay to have an extended engagement if your emotions pushed you to this point too early. That question needs to be answered without an emotional response, and an extended engagement is a way to know it for certain. 

The length of your engagement should be influenced by the length of your relationship. That statement is practical advice for all people, especially the Christian. Engagements are the final step before marriage, and once you enter into the covenant of marriage, there should be no turning back or second-guessing the answer.

Take time to ask yourself and your future spouse the hard questions. Is your love cosmetic? Meaning, if health and beauty should fade, would love still exist between both of you? Are you both united on core Christian beliefs, especially as related to salvation? Meaning, is there any other pathway to heaven but through Jesus? Do some soul searching and determine what’s important to you then ask your partner about them.

The answers to those questions will help you determine if marriage is appropriate at this stage of the relationship. It’s okay to halt an upcoming marriage for appropriate reasons. It’s much more appropriate to sever an engagement than to break up a marriage. The former is acceptable, but the latter is sinful.

Furthermore, this doesn’t mean the relationship must end! A wise decision for the moment doesn’t negate a future possibility. You can still continue a romantic relationship after canceling your wedding plans. One way or another, surety about the wedding will settle with enough time and consideration.

Personal Preferences

Once you’ve made the decision that marriage is the right thing to do, there are a few personal preferences that you’ll have to agree upon as a couple. The wedding is a big day for both of you, and you’ll want to make the event memorable. People often think memorable means bigger, but that’s not necessarily the case.

Wedding Size

The size of your wedding can be small, large, or anywhere in between. A small wedding of family and a few close friends usually means a shorter timespan until the big day arrives. A larger wedding of extended family and multiple friends usually means a longer timespan until the big day arrives. Remember, the right people are what makes weddings memorable. 

Budget Size

The size of your budget is another factor to account for. Unless you have connections, everything about your wedding will cost various amounts of money. A lower budget might fast-track your wedding date since it has fewer expenses to consider. On the other hand, a wedding with a higher budget might take a while to organize and implement. Furthermore, for those wanting their wedding to have a higher budget, it might take some time to save up enough to accomplish those goals. 

Scheduling Decisions

Once you’ve decided the wedding will happen, there are also some key scheduling decisions to make. These are some strategic choices about your big day that will likely influence its timing. Nevertheless, they are vitally important decisions to make. 

These considerations encompass the aspects of location, attendees, and time of year. Each of them could potentially affect the schedule and circumstances of the wedding. It’s important to strike a balance if you’re wanting it to happen sooner rather than later.

Venue Considerations

Selecting a venue for the wedding and reception is one of the most important decisions. You must factor in the personal preferences of the previous section to find the perfect location. They directly affect the types of venues available to you, and of the venues available, some might have waiting lists that affect the length of your engagement.

A large wedding and large budget allow for an extravagant venue. A large wedding and small budget allow for an open-air venue. A small wedding and large budget allow for a prestigious location. A small wedding and small budget allow for a humble but intimate location.

Guest Considerations

There are guest considerations that could affect the timing of your wedding also. If you’re planning on having a large wedding, it could take a lengthy amount of time for everyone to find time off for a specific calendar day. A smaller wedding might still have this very same problem. Who you invite is important, but you must decide if it’s important enough to determine the scheduling of the wedding. 

Seasonal Considerations

Seasonal considerations will definitely affect the timeframe of your wedding. If you want a spring wedding, then nine months of the year just won’t work for you. Likewise for summer, fall, and winter weddings. A couple who wants to have a seasonal wedding must take into consideration all of the previous factors and could be waiting years until the stars align for it to become possible.

Length of the Engagement

To conclude, the length of your engagement is dependent upon a variety of factors. Only you and your future spouse can determine which of them makes a difference for the wedding. Rest assured, the will of God won’t be thwarted. If you two are meant to be together, no matter how long it might take, nothing can stop it from happening. Rest in the sovereignty of God, His goodness, and His love towards you both.