A new relationship is always full of excitement when it’s fresh and just beginning. For about a month or so, your significant other can do no wrong. The things you like get magnified while the things you don’t get marginalized during this special season. Welcome to the honeymoon phase of puppy love.
That feeling will eventually wear off with time. You’ll come to find that you don’t really know them as well as you thought, and that’s when you’ll decide to ask the questions that really matter. The most significant category of all those questions regards their faith. What are the important Christian dating questions to ask them?
Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. This list of questions is a great guide for determining the qualities that matter in both you and your potential partner. These questions will help give you a better idea about the spiritual health of yourself and the person you’re dating. The answers to them should help steer your thoughts on the relationship.
Questions for Your Date
These questions don’t need to be asked all at one time. Doing that would probably raise one or both of their eyebrows. These are questions are designed for you to ask throughout your time spent together getting to know each other. Ideally, these are all questions to ask before you two become “officially” a couple.
Are you a Christian?
Will you tell me your testimony?
Do your family and friends support Christianity?
How often do you read the Bible?
What are some of your favorite verses?
What denomination do you most align with?
Do you go to church regularly?
Do you have any ministry roles within your church?
Are there any extra Christian activities you enjoy (concerts, small groups, etc.)?
How often do you pray to God?
Who do you pray to and why (Holy Spirit, Jesus, Father)?
What do you struggle with that I can help pray about?
What’s your biggest concern for Christianity?
Where do you think God is directing your life?
What’s the point of dating to you?
Is sexual purity important while dating?
Where’s the line for showing affection while dating?
What is your definition of true love?
These questions aren’t deal-breakers. Except for the first one, that’s definitely a deal-breaker. Instead, these questions will help you get to know your date before committing to a relationship with them. They’re good background information that gives you a general layout of their spiritual condition and priorities.
Each of them serves a specific purpose. Asking them all is a great way to determine if this person is further along in their walk with God than you are or perhaps further back. Then again, maybe they’re right on par with your own maturity in the Christian walk.
Questions for Yourself
After those questions, you might feel good with the answers you received from them and satisfied with what you heard. But, take our advice, don’t stop there. Sometimes that person will have deceptively told you everything that they think you will want to hear. Other times, they will have honestly told you the truth. In each situation, you still need to ask yourself a few questions.
Is this person really a Christian?
Do their actions glorify or dishonor God?
Are they helping or hurting my spiritual growth with God?
Will my morals be tested or possibly compromised in a relationship with them?
Do their actions challenge or conform to what the Bible says about how love acts?
Am I contributing to their spiritual health or are they contributing to mine?
Do I currently know them well enough to feel comfortable dating them?
Am I dating with the goal of becoming married in the future?
Do our goals and priorities align with God’s kingdom and each other?
Am I acting like my first priority is them or God?
Am I prioritizing my happiness or God’s glory?
Here is where the rubber meets the road. These questions are meant to be a gut check of sorts. It might be easy for them to lie to you, but it’s hard for you to lie to yourself. These questions reveal the holes in their [or your] logic. Ultimately, they are designed to safeguard your heart from harm and your soul from spiritual compromise.
Questions for God
This is the last category of questions, but it should be your first priority in the asking process. He loves you and wants the best for you, so it makes sense to come to Him first for everything and before deciding to act on your feelings. These questions can help you hear Him more clearly and discern His will for your life.
Is this the right time for me to be dating?
Am I spiritually ready [to lead or follow] another person?
Is this person in my life for a specific reason?
What am I doing right in our relationship?
What am I doing wrong in our relationship?
What can I do to bring this person closer to You?
I know You have a plan for me and for them, but do You have a plan for us together?
If so, is that plan one of romance or friendship?
This is your first and final checklist. After you’ve asked these questions once, act upon them as God instructs you to do. Then and only if He gives you permission, ask them and yourself the other questions. But always come back to this list of questions one last time. They’re a good shower for your spiritual hygiene.
We hope you will follow this guide for your own betterment and theirs because there are plenty of Christians out there looking to date other Christians! So if you don’t feel called to singleness, keep looking for that special person out there from God for you. They’re probably looking for you too!