This is one of the most sensitive subjects in dating. So many emotions are attached to the word “widow” and, though some of them may be true, most of them probably don’t describe you at all. Unfortunately, getting others to see that is sometimes harder said than done.
Firstly, we want to say thank you for choosing to lend your ear to us on this topic. Hopefully, after a thorough readthrough, you’ll come to understand and agree with our advice on this subject. Ultimately, we want you to finish this article feeling unburdened and free from any shame or guilt associated with dating again.
Secondly, we want you to know that we care about the delicacy of your situation. So, this article definitely won’t be about finding someone to fill the shoes of your former spouse. We want you to feel comfortable in your shoes and able to navigate the ever-changing world of dating.
Is Dating Again Wrong?
It’s not uncommon for people in your position to be conflicted about dating again. On the one hand, you have an ever-growing desire to rediscover love again. On the other hand, the memory of your mutual commitment is probably an ever-present feeling also.
What’s going on here? Are you doomed to feel this way forever? Is this your conscience working against your sinful desires?
Well, let’s address the emotional side of things first. It’s normal to feel a permanent attachment to your former spouse. A deep, emotional, and metaphysical union happened in your marriage. You were made “one flesh” with this person, and it’s normal to feel a sense of absence now that they’re gone (Mark 10:6-9). That passage warns against divorce by saying “let no one separate” that which God has joined together, but it’s important to remember that this separation was caused by their departure home to heaven.
Therefore, this isn’t a situation to “get over” at all. This reality is a part of who you are and deeply personal. It’s nothing to hide, and your future spouse (God willing) should accept this as one of your noblest features! We certainly do!
Now, let’s take care of the big question. The desire to date again is absolutely not a sin, and the Bible makes that abundantly clear in one particular passage. In Romans 7:1-3, the Apostle Paul uses widows and remarriage as an example for others. He makes it abundantly clear that the union of marriage is binding until death, but after the death of either spouse, the surviving spouse is allowed to remarry.
That means your desire for remarriage might even be a God-given one!
Who Should You Date?
Dating for the sake of fun usually doesn’t appeal to someone in your position. So, unlike our younger audience, we don’t think it’s necessary to remind you that dating is for the purpose of finding a future spouse and becoming married. You probably already know that, and you’re likely looking for a relationship with deep substance.
However, we want to remind you that there is a biblical stipulation behind who you’re allowed to marry. Since marriage is the point of dating, this stipulation should also apply to who you choose to date. As Christian believers, we are instructed by the Bible to only marry other believers.
This teaching comes from 1Corinthians 7:39 where the Apostle Paul uses the predicament of widows to clarify this point. He instructs widows seeking remarriage to only be remarried “in the Lord” to other Christians. So, if you choose to date, be sure to inquire about their religious beliefs before starting a relationship with them.
It’s comforting to know that your situation was foreseen by an author of the Bible. It reaffirms that your circumstances aren’t just a modern issue, but these scenarios were prevalent even during the earliest years of the Church. Biblically, God has made a pathway for your renewed happiness in romance, and we want to encourage you to explore it free of fear.
Have You Tried Online Dating?
There are other people seeking romance with a similar story to your own, and they’re looking to connect with someone just like you! Many of the online dating sites below give people the opportunity to list the status of their relationship, and “widowed” is usually an available option to select.
This is great because there are others who select this option too! You can even sort those particular people into your personalized results by searching for that category only. The hard part is done for you, and all you have to do is sign up and say hello!
We’ve listed some of our favorites for you to try below. May God bless you and keep you free from hesitation and fear as you rediscover romance in your life!