The 5 Love Languages: Physical Touch

Physical Touch is one of the five “love languages” identified by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages. We would suggest reading the overview of each love language if you’re new to the five love languages.

This article aims to help you better understand Physical Touch. If this is your love language, the section that follows will foster understanding and communication for both you and your partner. If this is your partner’s love language, the final section will help you understand what this love language speaks about their personality.

Man and woman holding hands and having coffee

Your Love Language

If Physical Touch is your love language, this section will help you better understand why that form of connection is so important to you. You’ll also become better equipped with how to express yourself to your partner. This helps them better understand your love language and develop a more satisfying romantic relationship together.

Understanding the Language

Some form of physical touch is the way you best receive love from others. It tops everything else for you. It doesn’t always have to be a romantic touch either. Whether it’s a relative, friend, or partner, their caring touches are the predominant way you perceive their love for you.

However, when it comes to romance, physical touch carries a heightened sense of importance to you. It’s the primary way you receive love from your partner. Their physical proximity and loving touch are what you desire more than anything else.

Long stretches of physical neglect can feel like an eternity to you. If it happens for too long, you might even begin to think you’ve upset your partner in some way. If it persists without eventually being addressed, non-romantic parts of your life will also start to be affected and others will notice a difference in you.

On the other hand, consistent physical touches are affirmations of your partner’s love for you and can even energize you. Their loving embrace can start, end, or boost your day on with positive note. Unsurprisingly, you are likely to show your love this way also.

Talking to Your Significant Other

What good is it to know your primary love language if you don’t teach it to be spoken? Don’t just internalize what you’ve read about it. The information above needs to be passed to your partner.

Talking to them doesn’t have to be as awkward as you’re imagining. You can let them in on this part of your needs without coming off as creepy. After all, they might not be touching you as often as you prefer for the same reason! No one wants to be creepy.

Tell them how your sense of love is heightened when they get close to you. It’s important they know you feel cared for when they support you with a physical sensation. By focusing on non-intimate forms of touch, they will innately understand your need for intimate touch also; creepiness averted. 

We recommend you go as far as to tell them about the five love languages. That way, they can read about it themselves and also discover their own love language by taking the test. You both win in this scenario!

Their Love Language

Physical Touch is both a platonic and sensual love language. Your partner wants to be loved in both ways, but people typically love others in their own love language. That sounds a lot like the golden rule to do to others as you would have them do to you, right?

Definitely, but that verse is actually about loving your enemies in Luke 6:31. How much more so should you love your romantic partner? You should want to understand their love language to shower them with their form of love.  

Understanding the Language

Physical touch is the best way to demonstrate your love for your partner. But it’s not the only way they will feel loved. This doesn’t mean that you should always be giving them a loving touch from this point forwards. It’s good to maintain some variety in how you show them your love.

Please, do not neglect to physically touch this person because it’s tied to their emotional wellbeing. They may not directly state it, but physical neglect is akin to abuse for them. While you’re completely unaware of what they’re going through, they’re being sent on an emotional rollercoaster. They wonder what they’ve done wrong to deserve this and begin to question why this is happening to them.

This situation is completely disarmed with something as simple as a gentle squeeze to their arm while giving them a loving smile. A kiss is a potent type of touch, but a long hug will always be one of the most powerful reminders that you love them because it’s full-body contact. It comes as no surprise then that intimacy is the ultimate form of romantic physical touch to them.

The Perfect Touch

It’s important to know what kind of touch to give your partner. But giving them the perfect touch is completely dependent on the situation. 

The perfect touch might be a reassuring hand on their hip, back, or around the waist if you are in a room full of crowded people. The perfect touch might be holding their hand or putting an arm around their shoulder if you are watching a movie together. The perfect touch might be a gentle back rub, an embrace, or a kiss if you’re alone together.

In every situation, there is a way to display your love for them through physical touch. Your attempts will be rewarded with acceptance and appreciation. Ultimately, to them, they are a display of your true love.

Learn More: The 5 Love Languages Resource Hub